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Bedtime battles part 1
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Coping with teenagers
Temper tantrums part 1
Temper tantrums part 2
Temper tantrums part 3
COPING WITH TEENAGERS
Adolescence is a time of rapid growth and change, both physically and emotionally. The brain is undergoing a major growth spurt in the area related to judgement. The process is often characterised by ambivalence, defiance and moodiness. You might find yourself wondering where your sweet, cooperative child has gone, and who the stranger is that has taken his or her place.
Here are a few tips to help you come to terms with your teen
- Accept that your relationship will change
Give them the privacy and space that they need.
- Be the adult
When your teen reacts with anger and frustration, stay calm and don’t take the bait. If you react emotionally, you will only be adding fuel to the fire. Developmentally it is normal for teens to challenge adults and push the limits. Acknowledge your child’s feelings. But if they are behaving in an unacceptable way, swearing, breaking things or hurting people - deal with them in a firm and calm manner. Showing your child how to handle conflict, by staying calm and in control yourself, is an essential task for parents.
- Be the parent and not a friend.
Don’t confide in your teen about your personal life. If you find you are doing this, question whether you need to make changes in your own life, for example get out more and meet up with friends. Your job at this stage is to offer guidance and set appropriate boundaries.
- Pick your battles
Try not to pick on everything that your teen does. Choose only those things that are really important to you, and that you have a realistic chance of changing. You can’t make your child keep their room tidy, but you might insist that dirty cups and plates are cleared up.
- Enjoy each others company
Have casual conversations while driving them to places, while shopping,
or try doing an activity with them like cycling. Building a better relationship
with your teen, based on mutual respect and trust. This will give
you more influence when you need it.
- Talk to other parents
It helps to share what you are going through, so open up to other parents or join a support group.
- If you are having serious conflicts
It is important to keep the channels of communication open. Don’t burn any
bridges. Seek professional help and support, sooner rather than later.
If you are in need of support or advice, please contact us. We are experienced in working with parents of difficult and out of control teenagers. We are happy to talk to you to see how we can help.
