TANTRUMS
and how to avoid them - Part 1

Tantrums are a trademark of the toddler, occurring in 75% of 2 – 4 year olds.  So even though they are no surprise, when a tantrum happens, it can be hard to deal with. 

A tantrum happens when a child feels out of control.  They don’t yet have the physical ability to do the things that they want to do (like doing up buttons or tying shoe laces) or the language skills to express themselves properly.  This leads to immense frustration.  They need you to teach them how to deal with their emotions so that they can tell you what they want. 

Triggers

Frustration, anger, tiredness, hunger are all triggers for tantrums.  Toddlers can start to behave badly when they experience big change in their lives, like you starting a job, a change in childcare, the birth of a new baby.  They may feel insecure or jealous and start attention seeking. 

Top Tips

• Make sure that you give your toddler regular meals and healthy snacks throughout the day. Include at least one regular nap a day for children under 3.

• Offer choices where possible, "Do you want to wear the blue T-shirt or the green one?" This helps them to feel in control.

• At the first sign of a tantrum use a distraction. Say something like "Look did you see that!" and point to something outside the window. If you are in a shop become very interested in something on shelf and ask them for help picking an items and putting them in the trolley.

Help them put their feelings into words. "You really wanted that right now! I imagine you must be feeling cross because I said no?" Or, "I can see you are feeling upset, would it help if I gave you a hug?" By listening and showing empathy, you are helping your child to understand their emotions and express them in words not actions. Keep things brief and simple, they cannot understand complicated reasoning or discussions at this age.